Have Hope

Four Years, four months and three weeks ago my wife gave birth to two of the greatest blessings God could ever give to us. Our twin boys, Zayden weighing in at 6 pounds and 11 ounces. Then Gavriel aka G Baby weighing 5 pounds and 14 ounces. We were excited, well at least I was, my wife was a bit on the nauseous side. It had been quite a journey for her to carry those sluggers for 36 full weeks and then enduring the toils of a C-Section. They showed us little Zay -Zay whom his mother sometimes calls Baby A. Baby B though had to be taken directly to the table and I had to leave my wife’s side to meet him. He was different from Zayden. Although they looked very much alike, Gavriel was born with a birth defect. The defect is called spinal bifida which means a portion of the neural tube fails to develop or close properly, causing defects in the spinal cord and in the bones of the spine. Basically, his spine needed be pushed into place. I will spare the medical details but I will tell you that we knew this would impact much of our son’s functionality. I was 30 years old and I was being told that if my child would walk it would not be without braces and/or physical therapy, nor would he be able to potty train like a “normal” child. As a matter of fact, during the pregnancy I tried reading to prepare myself for it all and with all the information I only found myself walking off the packaging line at my job just to go in the locker room and flood the floor with tears at the thought of feeling hopeless for him.
So, after walking over to meet my little guy he immediately went into his first of three surgeries before he would ever see his new crib. For the next seven weeks, we had to be the hope that he didn’t know existed. Fresh in the world and life begins with pain! Sounds almost like life when God has given us something incredible to birth and as soon as we choose to move forward on the dream we find ourselves under the blade,  cutting through what we thought was perfectly put together. What happens under the blade is a reconstruction of our defect, surgery getting us close as possible to what we were supposed to be. I guess enduring the blade during the initial stages of birth somehow makes us tougher because until now my son has never cried from a shot or having blood drawn from his arm. (In my bragging voice) “That’s my lil soulja” Somehow, we are all born crippled and all of us that choose to be great or exceptional end up on an operating table that hurts us but hurts us for the good.
Let me be honest with you. During those weeks I wrestled with hope. One night I even gave In, sneaking a few beers into the Ronald McDonald house. For those that know me, don’t try to figure out the math, Yes, I was already an ordained minister during the time. Don’t judge me! But I distinctly remember God sending an angel to us one day, as my wife and I, along with my one year old daughter and my other son a few weeks old were heading back to visit with G Baby. A prophetess met us in the elevator offering to pray with us. She prayed saying something that confirmed that this was a moment where hope was essential. She said, “We came to remind him today that he is a man of God.” My eyes of hope opened again in that very moment. The moment that I found myself down. I was reminded that the knowledge owned by man is incomparable to the knowledge that exists within God. This consciousness emanates an incredible ability to place our Hope in a God that has never failed when encountering sickness with the intent to heal. I spoke healing over my son when I gave him his second name, “Josias” which simply means “Yahweh Heals.” It’s no longer about the doctor’s education but God’s power. It’s not about all the resources but it’s about God’s wisdom. It’s no longer about the statistics but God’s promise. It was about God honoring the prayers of the righteous and God did just that!
You see three months prior I wrote on a piece of paper a vision for my sons. I wrote “My sons will walk, my sons will run, my sons will jump, my sons will live and play together” and God honored the vision that I made plain for my sons. My son never needed braces. The other day he took off running through the yard and I had to hold back tears while thanking God for answering my Hopes. Although there are some struggles and conditions he must deal with, God honored my prayers and while there were times of wrestling we can’t lose hope. I want to encourage you to put your Hope in God. Remember that Proverbs 10:24 says “…. the hope of the godly shall be granted.” Believe beyond what you know and see and put your hope in God.

God Bless You,

Elder Aquila  T Carmon

 


9 thoughts on “Have Hope

  1. This really spoke to me. I can tell you must have experienced a lot more pain than you have mentioned here so I’m really glad to have heard such a profound story.
    But right now I’m going to ask a serious question and if it is too soon or too uncomfortable answer, feel free not to answer it. I will completely understand.
    My question to you is, if God had not healed your son, how would that have effected your relationship with him?

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    1. Marklyn, Thank you for your question. No, it’s not too early or uncomfortable for me and I’m glad that you asked. If God had not healed my son that only means that we would be taking a bit of a different journey with Him and believing in Him for the strength and courage to face the consequences of His decision. God’s wisdom is far beyond mine and like any good parent He doesn’t always say yes when we ask for something. So i do not lose faith or hope when a prayer is not answered, I simply search deeper for the direction He desires to lead me. Either way, hope comes into play knowing that His love for us never fails even when we have to walk through storms. I would have to lean on Him to see the blessing the way he sees it through His eyes instead of allowing the disappointments to cause me to lose faith and focus. Of course that is easier said than done. But I guess the answer is I would praise God just the same because I would need Him just the same.

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      1. Thank you for answering and that is so true. God has really shown me how awesome he is when I place him at the center of my heart and at the foundation of my mind. Life is so good when we love God for who he is and not for the blessings he may or may not give us. I writing about this a lot lately so I just like to talk about it with others. Keep writing friend, God has so much in store for you.

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  2. Thank you so much for sharing! Many will be encouraged by your authenticity. Please continue to write and share. We all need hope, inspiration and faith.
    Thank you!

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  3. Great testimony!!! Needed to hear this on today! It’s so easy to get discouraged and we lose hope. But God is a very present help in time of trouble and I thank him for his everlasting grace and mercy!!

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