What To Do When You’ve Lost a Fight

One thing I believe I inherited from my dad is this intense need for good guys to win in the movie. I mean INTENSE. When I was 12 years old, my brother and I went to see the movie Richie Rich, and when the bad guys were chasing after Richie, I remember my dad cheering and shouting in the movie theater for the demise of the bad guys! Man, my brother and I were so embarrassed. But he didn’t care. He wanted to see the good guy win.

It seems almost natural to see good overcome evil. We want to see the hero trample his opponent, walk away with the girl, receive applause from the whole city and fly off in the night waiting for the next bad guy to surface.

But….here’s me keeping it One Hundred with you! Even Superman got his A$$ kicked. I’ve been a superman fan since birth. And you have no idea how infuriated I was when they laid superman in that coffin after his death after a fight with Batman.

Truth is, I think the death of Superman is relatable for many men today. I’m talking about the men that wake up every morning. They go hard to build futures for themselves, build homes for their wives and to feed their kids. So many of us push when we tired, keep moving when we’re in pain. Men who are fathers, providers, givers and demonstrate this tenacity that will not allow us to quit even when circumstances have backed us up against walls and into corners.

There are men who can relate, who made wrong moves and wrong decisions and now have no idea how to bounce back, rebuild and regain their footing. But they have given so much for the sake of others. The sacrifices that some of these men out here make are far greater than some of our greatest superheroes make in movies.

No one knows that they are heroes but they are. Mental fights, Spiritual warfare, internal bouts, the fight to walk a steady path, the battle with believing in themselves, the pain that comes with losing love and those who were close. The battle with not being accepted because you aren’t like everyone else.

Now that I think about it, Superman may have been a white man on the screen but he represented for the Brothers! As a matter of fact, having Michael B Jordan be our black superman doesn’t even matter that much because I can look at many of the brothers I do life with everyday and see black superman’s all around me.

Shout out to two Superman’s we’ve lost very recently in the last week

(RIP Wendell Zeiglar & My Uncle RIP Rickey Dixon)Superman Coffin

What I’m saying is, you have to be prepared to take some losses. To win every fight is a fairy tale. To achieve every goal with having a journey full of setbacks is not the way life is set up.

Here are a few things to do when you lose a fight:

  1. Own the Loss – This allows evaluation of your actions during the fight to see where the weaknesses were in your strategy or your plan and how to eliminate mistakes.
  2. Deal with Your Emotions – It dangerous to suppress them. Recognize how you feel and refuse to allow your emotions to paralyze your passion. Emotions are necessary for evaluation and improvement in regard to how we see ourselves and how we see others. If God didn’t want us to use our emotions, we wouldn’t have them.
  3. Talk to someone who has been where you are trying to go because I will bet you, they have dealt with the same doubts of coming back from a loss.
  4. Don’t allow your loss to define you. It could have been a matter of a missed step in your planning, a skill you need fine tune, finding the right connection to network with and be your strength in an area. Imperfection is a matter of humanness not a matter of malfunction.
  5. Don’t Give up! Don’t give up on your dreams! Don’t give up on your plan! Don’t give up on yourself!

You have got to get back up! Too many people need you to stand up and move on because what you will accomplish will open up doors for many to follow. Your victory is in your ability to maintain Hope and move in Faith

Hope Builds Legacy,

Aquila T Carmon


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s