About Trust (Part 1)

Simply stating what trust is, it means placing confidence in something that will work well. Trust holds value because it’s a key element in successful relationships. It involves taking an intimate part of yourself to entrust that part of you to someone else. Trusting someone means “letting them in.” The collective understanding of trust equates to unlocking our inner emotions and thoughts to become vulnerable enough to allow another person to handle those intimate parts. Parts of us that should not particularly be handled by people. I believe before confidence is deposited into someone we should complete a checklist that justifies the choice to trust. Before investing love, energy, time, and confidence take the time to evaluate how they invest these same things into themselves or the people around them. Do they truly love themselves? If they don’t then they won’t love you? Do they have respect for themselves, do they try to take care of themselves and their own things? If you dated somebody whose car was always full of trash, that allows no rights to join them in matrimony then argue about how they won’t aid in keeping the house clean. What is the process of deeming a person worthy of trust? When you purchase a vehicle you should get the service records, check the blue book value and have it inspected before you drive off expecting it to be dependable. You must WATCH and OBSERVE before you offer trust.

Trusting and placing your confidence in someone means you become reliant on them, resting your mind on their integrity, veracity, justice, friendship or any other sound characteristic we have witnessed in people. Trusting means leaning on others with hopes that they will not fall. But what is problematic with trust goes back to the opening statement which expresses placing confidence in something that will work well. But in my opinion, humans are more flawed than anything else on this earth so there is never a guarantee in how well a person will “work.”

That’s why Psalms 118:8 says, “it is better to put your trust in the Lord than put your confidence in man.” Psalms 146:3 “Do not put your trust in princes nor the son of man in whom there is no help” Jeremiah 17:5 “cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength” Micah 7:5 “A man’s enemies are the men of his own house”.
Wow! Do we still need to ask how or why we all find ourselves in a place where our trust has been broken? It is dangerous to place an expectation of commitment without an expectation of failure. Let me be clear, man is not like God and man will fail you! Give him enough time. But remember that the way you perceive them failing you is based on the measure of which you trust. You can’t fail me if I don’t trust you. If you make a stupid decision and I don’t trust you then I will not be disappointed. That’s the reason there are people right now that won’t trust anybody. But that’s why we must re-evaluate the purpose of trust.

In relationships trust is necessary because produces something grand. Confidence! I hate it when my wife says to me “you’re supposed to be an Elder!” The last time was exactly a year ago when we tried to save money on a trip and I agreed to one of those ninety minute presentations. Well that turned into three hours and a brother lost his cool. Her translatable version of what I am “supposed to be” is “I am trusting that you can be better than this.” That means she puts her confidence in me and because of that I am now held accountable. This is true for employees, managers, Pastors, church members, marriage and friendships.  For someone to put their confidence in us nudges the pride in us producing encouragement, pushing us and drives us to be better. But on the end of the trustee, emotions should not be attached to the trust. Trust becomes simply a tool used to inject accountability in relationships. The mistake we make too often is trusting others with parts of us that only God should have access to because only He will be perfect to respond to our trust without disappointment and failure.

I guess the take away would be that trust is risky, but John Donne wrote, “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a part of a continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were.”  Trust is powerful and because we cannot make it alone we have to learn how to trust seeing that it truly has the ability to make us better.

God Bless you,

Elder Aquila T. Carmon

 

Have Hope

Four Years, four months and three weeks ago my wife gave birth to two of the greatest blessings God could ever give to us. Our twin boys, Zayden weighing in at 6 pounds and 11 ounces. Then Gavriel aka G Baby weighing 5 pounds and 14 ounces. We were excited, well at least I was, my wife was a bit on the nauseous side. It had been quite a journey for her to carry those sluggers for 36 full weeks and then enduring the toils of a C-Section. They showed us little Zay -Zay whom his mother sometimes calls Baby A. Baby B though had to be taken directly to the table and I had to leave my wife’s side to meet him. He was different from Zayden. Although they looked very much alike, Gavriel was born with a birth defect. The defect is called spinal bifida which means a portion of the neural tube fails to develop or close properly, causing defects in the spinal cord and in the bones of the spine. Basically, his spine needed be pushed into place. I will spare the medical details but I will tell you that we knew this would impact much of our son’s functionality. I was 30 years old and I was being told that if my child would walk it would not be without braces and/or physical therapy, nor would he be able to potty train like a “normal” child. As a matter of fact, during the pregnancy I tried reading to prepare myself for it all and with all the information I only found myself walking off the packaging line at my job just to go in the locker room and flood the floor with tears at the thought of feeling hopeless for him.
So, after walking over to meet my little guy he immediately went into his first of three surgeries before he would ever see his new crib. For the next seven weeks, we had to be the hope that he didn’t know existed. Fresh in the world and life begins with pain! Sounds almost like life when God has given us something incredible to birth and as soon as we choose to move forward on the dream we find ourselves under the blade,  cutting through what we thought was perfectly put together. What happens under the blade is a reconstruction of our defect, surgery getting us close as possible to what we were supposed to be. I guess enduring the blade during the initial stages of birth somehow makes us tougher because until now my son has never cried from a shot or having blood drawn from his arm. (In my bragging voice) “That’s my lil soulja” Somehow, we are all born crippled and all of us that choose to be great or exceptional end up on an operating table that hurts us but hurts us for the good.
Let me be honest with you. During those weeks I wrestled with hope. One night I even gave In, sneaking a few beers into the Ronald McDonald house. For those that know me, don’t try to figure out the math, Yes, I was already an ordained minister during the time. Don’t judge me! But I distinctly remember God sending an angel to us one day, as my wife and I, along with my one year old daughter and my other son a few weeks old were heading back to visit with G Baby. A prophetess met us in the elevator offering to pray with us. She prayed saying something that confirmed that this was a moment where hope was essential. She said, “We came to remind him today that he is a man of God.” My eyes of hope opened again in that very moment. The moment that I found myself down. I was reminded that the knowledge owned by man is incomparable to the knowledge that exists within God. This consciousness emanates an incredible ability to place our Hope in a God that has never failed when encountering sickness with the intent to heal. I spoke healing over my son when I gave him his second name, “Josias” which simply means “Yahweh Heals.” It’s no longer about the doctor’s education but God’s power. It’s not about all the resources but it’s about God’s wisdom. It’s no longer about the statistics but God’s promise. It was about God honoring the prayers of the righteous and God did just that!
You see three months prior I wrote on a piece of paper a vision for my sons. I wrote “My sons will walk, my sons will run, my sons will jump, my sons will live and play together” and God honored the vision that I made plain for my sons. My son never needed braces. The other day he took off running through the yard and I had to hold back tears while thanking God for answering my Hopes. Although there are some struggles and conditions he must deal with, God honored my prayers and while there were times of wrestling we can’t lose hope. I want to encourage you to put your Hope in God. Remember that Proverbs 10:24 says “…. the hope of the godly shall be granted.” Believe beyond what you know and see and put your hope in God.

God Bless You,

Elder Aquila  T Carmon

 

Fearless Faith

What is this vision paralyzing, heart gripping, plan staggering, speech stopping, goal blocking and dream killer doing here. You call her hesitation but I say it’s not a “her” but a male because of his competitive aggression to beat me to my destiny. I call him my enemy, I say he a worrisome pain in my “you know what!” I call him FEAR! How did he get here? Better yet why is he here?

Don’t you get it! Your path is a dedicated key to dreams that haven’t even been dreamt yet! Upon the pursuance of your journey are answers to questions that our world’s been asking. There’s something within you so phenomenal it will force light to explode in hearts of men when you decide to release it. You will impact the world so greatly that the prince of darkness will fail another great fight he so desperately expected to win. Why are you afraid? Is it because you haven’t an inkling of how much power is really inside you? My friend you must understand and not discount the incredible strength laying beyond the boundaries of your thrust through darkness. Being fearless does not make you a hero. You are a hero when you can be cradled by fear yet stand through the challenges and adversity of the precise entity you were in fear of. You must allow fear to do what it does best. Allow it to puncture your perception of limitation and frighten you in to moving through and forward from it as fast as possible. Fear has the ability to pump mass adrenaline through your veins. This is when your dream, your purpose and your life must all carry the same significance of survival. You must decide that this thing called fear that has caused so many to give up will not stop you from getting where you need to be.

You must learn to alter the fear you feel and convert it to energy. You must administer faith to that ugly dog and tell him that you are the authority and it was issued to you by Almighty God when He created you. Realize this, you cannot walk by faith while remaining fearful. One will defeat the other. Determine to possess fearless faith! Tell Fear this: By Faith I am boundless. By Faith I have already conquered all. By Faith no weapon formed against me shall prosper and with unfailing promise my Lord shall crush every fear that would exist in my life. By Faith I am FEARLESS “for God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and of a sound mind.”(2 Timothy 1:7)

Let me encourage you today with a firm reminder that there is something great in you! God has invested it there and He protects His investment. Therefore you must rush through fear like it stands between you and your next breath because that treasure within you is necessary for the world.

Elder Aquila T. Carmon