In the sacred journey of marriage, Franz Schubert’s words resonate deeply: “Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.” Yet, the transition from courtship to matrimony presents a unique challenge, where the roles of husband-and-wife fuse into a complex relationship. To be frank, there has been times as husband I can understand why people have changed their social media status to “it’s complicated.”   While many couples start as best friends, it’s intriguing how this friendship often fades post-commitment. However, friendship isn’t just a pleasant addition to marriage; it’s a vital ingredient for growth, vitality, and intimacy.

Cultivating friendship is a key to growth for each person individually as well as a unit. Friendship within marriage is intentional—it’s about making choices that reflect genuine care and support. It’s about being there for each other, even in moments of hurt or disappointment. This friendship becomes a source of strength, enabling spouses to overlook weaknesses and forgive in times of strife. As individuals evolve, friendship provides a platform for continuous growth and understanding, ensuring couples grow together rather than apart.

A sense of vibrancy is sustained when friendship is held down as a position in marriage.  Friendship breathes life into marriage, infusing it with laughter, joy, and shared experiences. It serves as a support system during hardships, offering a sense of security and solace. While external relationships may seem appealing, true intimacy blossoms within the confines of friendship. Through open communication and shared moments, couples cultivate a bond that withstands the test of time.

In the realm of marriage, friendship lays the groundwork for deep emotional connections. Spouses become confidants, sharing their innermost thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. This emotional intimacy fosters understanding and relatability, strengthening the marital bond. Moreover, the assurance of a true friend enhances feelings of love and security, fueling intimacy and affection.

Real friendship is not achieved without work and focused effort. So when possible, trim any fat out of your day to establish opportunities to spend quality with your spouse. Do not allow conflict to create walls between you but use it to sharpen each other. Lastly, remember that friendship requires one to be friendly, so don’t forget to smile, encourage, and uplift each other each and every day. 

Pastor Q