Category: Self-help

Be Resilient, Be Confident

March 9, 2021

Recently, my wife and I took our twin boys to watch “Tom and Jerry” the Movie for their 8th birthday. All I will say is that I secretly loved it being that I’m and eighties baby was a Saturday morning cartoon kid who once relished in the cartoon for years.

As we watched the movie Tom and Jerry reminded me of a few things that I believe we can take with us through this journey of like. One truth is that we seem to always be faced with situations that we did not see coming. Life presents so many suprises from day to day, week to week and year to year that we have got to learn how to take TKO’s, lose a fight and be willing to get back in the ring for either a rematch or face the next opponent.

Tom, the overconfident cat, becomes outsmarted by Jerry, the mouse, time after time but after decades he came back in a movie to show the world that he would never give up his plight to defeat Jerry. Jerry, as a mouse faces constant rejection simply because of who he is and constantly must defend himself against the enemies that wants to see him destroyed.

Get this though. Tom never comes to a point where he gives up and Jerry never stopped finding small pleasure that he could truly enjoy. Both constantly hit with some hard tests, trials, and hardships but they never gave up, never lost confidence, and kept their joy. Sometimes we have to be a victim of pain, loss and hardship to be built for victory. Sometimes we have to be knocked down to learn how to stand up when we are hit.

My point is we have no idea what is around the corner. Many of us are constantly hit with things we did not expect. This past year we have an added enemy in the form of Covid 19 that has taken family members, friends, caused unemployment, pressed additional stress into the homes of families already doing all they could to hold and stolen the joy and peace of so many people.

We did not see this coming! What I do believe is that through resilience, our ability to press through or bounce back, and the decision to push one more day each day you wake up you will overcome. We will overcome. Do not let the thing we did not see coming dismantle your life to the point that you give up. A house that is torn down can be rebuilt. It may take new wood and nails, but it can be rebuilt. Your life can be rebuilt. It may be in pieces but use what is left starting with the breath in your body and the grace that God has surrounded you with and rebuild.

What To Do When You’ve Lost a Fight

October 8, 2019

One thing I believe I inherited from my dad is this intense need for good guys to win in the movie. I mean INTENSE. When I was 12 years old, my brother and I went to see the movie Richie Rich, and when the bad guys were chasing after Richie, I remember my dad cheering and shouting in the movie theater for the demise of the bad guys! Man, my brother and I were so embarrassed. But he didn’t care. He wanted to see the good guy win.

It seems almost natural to see good overcome evil. We want to see the hero trample his opponent, walk away with the girl, receive applause from the whole city and fly off in the night waiting for the next bad guy to surface.

But….here’s me keeping it One Hundred with you! Even Superman got his A$$ kicked. I’ve been a superman fan since birth. And you have no idea how infuriated I was when they laid superman in that coffin after his death after a fight with Batman.

Truth is, I think the death of Superman is relatable for many men today. I’m talking about the men that wake up every morning. They go hard to build futures for themselves, build homes for their wives and to feed their kids. So many of us push when we tired, keep moving when we’re in pain. Men who are fathers, providers, givers and demonstrate this tenacity that will not allow us to quit even when circumstances have backed us up against walls and into corners.

There are men who can relate, who made wrong moves and wrong decisions and now have no idea how to bounce back, rebuild and regain their footing. But they have given so much for the sake of others. The sacrifices that some of these men out here make are far greater than some of our greatest superheroes make in movies.

No one knows that they are heroes but they are. Mental fights, Spiritual warfare, internal bouts, the fight to walk a steady path, the battle with believing in themselves, the pain that comes with losing love and those who were close. The battle with not being accepted because you aren’t like everyone else.

Now that I think about it, Superman may have been a white man on the screen but he represented for the Brothers! As a matter of fact, having Michael B Jordan be our black superman doesn’t even matter that much because I can look at many of the brothers I do life with everyday and see black superman’s all around me.

Shout out to two Superman’s we’ve lost very recently in the last week

(RIP Wendell Zeiglar & My Uncle RIP Rickey Dixon)Superman Coffin

What I’m saying is, you have to be prepared to take some losses. To win every fight is a fairy tale. To achieve every goal with having a journey full of setbacks is not the way life is set up.

Here are a few things to do when you lose a fight:

  1. Own the Loss – This allows evaluation of your actions during the fight to see where the weaknesses were in your strategy or your plan and how to eliminate mistakes.
  2. Deal with Your Emotions – It dangerous to suppress them. Recognize how you feel and refuse to allow your emotions to paralyze your passion. Emotions are necessary for evaluation and improvement in regard to how we see ourselves and how we see others. If God didn’t want us to use our emotions, we wouldn’t have them.
  3. Talk to someone who has been where you are trying to go because I will bet you, they have dealt with the same doubts of coming back from a loss.
  4. Don’t allow your loss to define you. It could have been a matter of a missed step in your planning, a skill you need fine tune, finding the right connection to network with and be your strength in an area. Imperfection is a matter of humanness not a matter of malfunction.
  5. Don’t Give up! Don’t give up on your dreams! Don’t give up on your plan! Don’t give up on yourself!

You have got to get back up! Too many people need you to stand up and move on because what you will accomplish will open up doors for many to follow. Your victory is in your ability to maintain Hope and move in Faith

Hope Builds Legacy,

Aquila T Carmon

5 Principles of Progress

February 1, 2019

There are quite a few principles that drive us in the direction of progress and success in our lives. It’s wise to reflect and see if we are putting those principles in place. Today I’ll share five of those values with you that caused a huge difference in my life and catapulted me from literally a place of depression and distraction to determination and desire for greater achievement. These principles are relevant for spiritual, financial, career and personal growth. Let’s jump into it.

The first one is PRAYER. What is one of the secrets of having great focus? Having direction! Having a really good sense of destination sets our sails on course for an amazing and purposeful journey. Like any journey though, Inevitably,  we get lost or sometimes even lose ourselves. Prayer brings us back to a proper head-space, heart-place.  Prayer keep us grounded and in connection with God. Praying for God’s guidance, strength and peace essentially aligns us with God’s will. Through our convictions, His grace and gives us clarity even through the clouded and crowded times. Jesus spent hours praying because He understood that not only external but also his internal needs came from a Spiritual source, His Father in Heaven. It is wise to consult with the Lord about where we are headed and what we should accomplish before consulting with men.  God knows the ultimate purpose for our lives and there could be unnecessary frustration when we allow our intentions to supersede God’s divine direction for our life.

The second is PERSPECTIVE.  How do you see where you are? We should see our challenges like a weight lifter sees a weight that is too heavy and consider how we will build up to clearing that weight. Problems can make us better problem solvers, trouble can build patience, tragedy can push us closer to our Source of strength, pain builds our ability to endure greater pains, hurt and broken trust wises us up. You get the idea. Don’t see a wall as a wall, but a teaching objective that will force you to reach, stretch and think more critically or trust God more consistently.  See your problems from the perspective of every problem has a solution. Remember that God will never put more on you than you can bear.

Next is PLANNING. Yes, strategy is vital in this game of life. I hear you….” Things never go as planned” I’ll say that is True and False. The wrong perspective may tell you this, simply because the whole plan didn’t go as planned. Get this. If you create a plan to meet your goals and only 10% of your plan worked out, then the plan is working because the plan was really to make progress.  A plan is a safeguard. It’s like putting the bumper rails up at the bowling alley to keep you from rolling a gutter ball. Planning may not get you a strike, but it should at least help get you some points on the scorecard.

Fourth is PERSEVERANCE. The ability to move forward when you are ready to quit. Perseverance is the internal characteristic that you can train yourself to put in action. Deciding to walk when you cannot run, crawl when you cannot walk and stopping only to catch your breath, to re-strategize, to pray, to reflect on your perspective but never stopping because you quit.

Lastly to Acknowledge and Celebrate PROGRESS. Seeing and realizing that even though this was small progress that this is a BIG moment. If your plan is laid out and you have made progress toward that goal, then you must realize within every goal is the goal of making progress. If your church didn’t grow by 20 members but it grew by five, celebrate the progress. If your business income didn’t grow by $5,000 but it grew by $1,000, celebrate the progress.

Remember that “The race is not given to the swift but to those who endure to the end.” Your life doesn’t need to be in competition with anyone else. So, kill all those comparisons and work towards your goals. Stay focused, stay positive, plan every aspect of your life and Celebrate along the way.

There is Hope,

Aquila T Carmon

The Making of Moments

January 22, 2019

The word moment is defined as a very brief period of time or an opportunity.

Over Sunday Dinner I engaged in a conversation discussing with Father in law and my sister in law’s boyfriend regarding things we remember from our past. Ironically this post refers to how we only remember certain things concerning our yesterdays and needless to say, I can’t remember exactly how the conversation began.  What I do know is that we were in agreement.  We are unable to go back in our minds, press rewind and again see the clips we missed.  Nope, everything’s spotty and we only remember moments. Have you ever tried to go back to your childhood and remember a whole situation play by play.  If you can then I commend you for tapping into a part of your memory muscles that many of us cannot.

For example, I can remember acting out the role of a Lion in a 3rd grade play in the library at Grifton Elementary School. I recall the sun shining through the blinds and my mother showing up to support me.  I had one line the entire play which was “I don’t care” until at the very end something caused me to finally say “I care.” What I can’t remember is other classmate who was in that short play with me. I remember the time while in high school we performed a play for the elementary school kids. I played the lead role as a King who allowed someone to sale him a royal outfit persuading him that it was of the most well-designed and extravagant outfit people would ever lay eyes on. But my friends, the kicker was the outfit was invisible. I remember not one line from that play 20 years ago, but I recall walking out on that wide wooden stage in my loud underwear covered in big yellow smiley faces and watching those kids go wild!! Oh, What an incredible memory.  I played baseball for fifteen years, but I can only remember certain moments of certain games.  I travailed through boot came for thirteen weeks but the moments I can remember are very few and in between. The only vivid recollection is when the Eagle, Globe and Anchor was placed in my hand and in that moment, I had achieved my greatest accomplishment ever.  I wish I could remember more moments with some of the loved one’s I’ve lost or some of the people I grew up, but I can’t.  You see I understand that all of my experiences in some way has helped shape me into who I am today, but they all didn’t make the cut to the memorable moments team.

I think the value of memory is neglected by our own desire to make tomorrow more valuable than yesterday.  I hear some many people say, “the past is in the past” or “you can’t change the past”. True!! All True! But remember that every day we are present, we are creating a past. So, it is vital my friends, to recognize that your future and your past are impacted by your present.

It is in The NOW, where you must make moments for your family that will become positive and powerful memories.  When both of my grandmothers were buried, the moments I recalled during their funerals were full of warmth, love, wisdom and peacefulness. Their homes were a safe-shaven for everyone.  What moments are you leaving for your family to remember you? What moments will your family have to Cherish? Are you teaching those around you to create good moments? Your destiny, your fulfillment of purpose and your legacy is built by the way you manage the moments.

Recollections of great moments remember the emotion and overwhelming love when you held your first child for the first time. It is when you understood the pressure to be an amazing parent when wiping your child’s tears and lifting their head up. It is when you feel purpose fueling when leading a lost soul to salvation. It’s like seeing your father stand again after doctors said he would die. It is the hearing someone tell you simply that you have helped them become better.  These moments keep us grounded. Seeing impossible things become possible are monumental reminders, in the moments we forget that everything really is going to be ok.

Today, Moments are ready to be made. Which means it is important for us to make our decisions count. Whether big or small make them count.  Because when someone stands over our casket it will be good for them to lose us knowing that we gave them the best of who we are.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. ~ Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

God Bless you,

Aquila T Carmon

 

The Other Side of the Door: Credit Tips

January 17, 2019

So, what happens on the other side of the door? You know, while you’ve went to a car dealership, applied for a loan online or anytime you are waiting for someone to run your credit and make the approval decision for your loan.

First your personal information will be pulled and placed into a system that will scan and analyze your credit report. Then it will provide the creditor some feedback based on your score and general items on whether you should be approved.  This system will analyze items such as credit scores from Equifax, Transunion and Experian, the number or accounts, how many are delinquent accounts, how long have you had the accounts open, how many late payments and your debt to income ratio based on the income information you decided.

Depending on where you apply would determine if an automated decision will be the final factor for you.  However, some creditors will take the next step, put human eyes on your credit report and begin to discuss with the finance manager if there are things that must be considered. You wondered while the salesman was probing? he was trying to get to know a few things about you to include in that “credit conversation.” Quick insert: If you have bad credit, please don’t be nasty and rude to the salesman. His opinion of you might play a part in whether the lender wants to work with you or not if your credit is already bad.

So, on the other side of the door they take a deeper look into the credit report with human eyes to determine, did it all go bad at the same time? Did a life event bring about this problem such as job loss or relocation?  Someone may even come sit with you to ask additional questions about your credit report. Trust me, I know because I am the guy that has sat across on both sides of the table. Once with bad credit and later to ask the questions.

Here are some tips before applying.

Know your credit situation:

  1. Know where you stand: Pull your credit report, know your scores and what is helping or hurting on your report and be ready to talk about it. Hopefully you are working on a plan to resolve any issues.
  2. Prepare mentally: If you have bad credit, prepare yourself for the result and remember that NO could mean, Not until a few things are fixed on your credit report. Meaning negative items removed or paid.
  3. Decrease some Debt: Pay down all credit card balances to less than 30% of use and wait for this to reflect on your report before applying for any credit.
  4. Understand that it may be best to struggle a little while longer and commit to getting your credit improved before even walking into to submit an application.

No matter where you stand in the credit world, know that you have or can take control of your credit situation. It may take some time and it is a process but by educating yourself, understanding how credit works and develop certain financial disciplines you can change how you experience as you sit on the consumer’s side of this process.

If you or someone you know has less than perfect credit. Let’s talk. Give me a call at (919)904-6960 or email me at aquilacarmon06@gmail.com. Go to www.myfes.net\acarmon1.  I am connected with a team that can help.

Aquila T Carmon

A Father’s Word

November 22, 2018

The Power of a Father’s Word  *Isaac’s Blessing over Jacob*

Genesis 27:27-29

 So he went to him and kissed him. When Isaac caught the smell of his clothes, he blessed him and said,

“Ah, the smell of my son
is like the smell of a field
that the Lord has blessed.
28 May God give you heaven’s dew
and earth’s richness—
an abundance of grain and new wine.

29 May nations serve you
and peoples bow down to you.
Be lord over your brothers,
and may the sons of your mother bow down to you.
May those who curse you be cursed
and those who bless you be blessed.

 

This story teaches us how a Father must be careful of how his “word” is used and how it is directed.  A father’s word contains the power to speak over his family and totally shift a thing that is out of balance into balance or something that is in balance to become out of balance. In Isaac’s case he shifted the birthright of his sons from the older to the younger without intention.  A father’s word needs to be certain before it is spoken.  A father’s word plays the role of the bow as well as the arrow.  It sets things in place like a bow sets an arrow. Then once the word is released if aimed correctly it can save a life at the exact same time it’s taking one.  A father’s word has the ability to encourage or tare down.  It has the power to lift up or to discourage. A father’s word must be directed with intention.  Its one of the reasons the father should speak the least in the house. His words need to be strategic, thoughtful, and thought provoking.  A father must understand that the power in a father’s word can not be mishandled. There are four things a father’s word has the power to do that I see in this blessing that Isaac spoke of Jacob.

 

 A Father’s Word has the power to:

  1. Confirms his son’s position as blessed

When we speak over the lives of our children we must be able to see what hasn’t been seen yet and through our words guide them to a place of authority, power and blessing. Speak Blessing into the lives of your children.

  1. Declares the presence of overflow

  It doesn’t matter about your background, where you are from, your current title or status.  Too many times a father can judge where their children will be based solely on what they have or have not accomplished. Declare that your children will live their lives in a place of overflow.  Declare they will find favor with God in their finances and well being through connections and resources.

  1. Provides Perspective on who His child is

Father’s must be very careful what we speak and how we speak to our children.  The name we call them by becomes the name they wear.  Even when they make wrong decisions, we must remind our sons and daughters that they are royalty and that their lives are necessary and full of purpose. We must constantly guide the thoughts of our children by speaking positivity and encouragement to them.  Sharing God’s word and wisdom with them daily. 

  1. Speaks into existence spiritual power providing protection and Success

As Father we must always pray for our children.  There is a real enemy that is committed to destroying the life and soul of our children. Faithfulness in prayer and active parental is necessary to cover our children.  We must constantly guide the thoughts of our children by speaking positivity and encouragement to them.  Sharing God’s word and wisdom with them daily. 

 

 

 

The Right Connection

March 25, 2016

When my wife and I first got married there were actual arguments at bed time regarding even the slightest noise in the room. She claimed she needed completely silence in order to get any sleep. I on the other hand was convinced she just needed to close her eyes and lay there until she fell asleep.  You see, before marriage I’d become accustomed to allowing something optimistic to play as I slept through the night. Amazingly, whatever I listened to often impacted my dreams. I recall a very distinct dream giving me the privilege of sitting on the outside patio of a restaurant with Bishop T.D. Jakes conversing very specifically about my gift making room for me.  Obviously, it can be assumed that I was listening to one of his sermons on repeat entitled; “Your Gift Will Make Room For You”.  I believed that in the early part of my salvation these intimate moments of subconscious invasion helped to shape my thoughts for the next day and the next part of my life.  Listening to song by Shekinah Glory like, “Praise is What I do” and “Yes” encouraged my inner man to give my all in following Christ.

There are two points I want to make here. The first is simple but sometimes difficult. The point is, never allow someone to keep you from what brings you closer to Christ.  Many times we forfeit key elements of our growth to satisfy a person.   A person who does not hold a key to the blessing, purpose and destiny of our lives. This is not to automatically say that the person you are connected to isn’t good for you. Your relationship with God should not be deterred by any object, place or man. I firmly believe that in walking with and trusting God, those that are not “with” us or for us will be revealed and will fall away from our lives. Some with force, pain and hurt but a disconnect will take place. Growth and your determination to change will help reveal those unhealthy relationships.

The second point is to weigh in on the fact that your relationship with Christ has to be personal and steady.   It is much too crucial to who you are and who you are to become. So you have to make decisions that glorify God and God alone. 1 Peter 1:9NLT says “The reward for trusting him will be the salvation sent from God”. Please understand why it is absolutely essential to be connect to The Creator. Connecting with God is the right connection. Your destiny depends on your commitment to His plan for your life. And trust me, There is a plan for your life.  If you feel as if where you are not a part of the plan then maybe reading this today means your are right where you need to be. Here are your instructions.

Romans 10:9 Declare with your lips that Jesus is Lord in your life and Believe with your heart that God raised Him from the dead for the sake of your sins. Do this and you are saved this very moment.

Matt 6:33 “Seek First the Kingdom of God and all of His righteousness”. In other words make a determined decision to pray. Ask God for 2 things. 1. To create in you a clean heart while healing your life  2. To help you walk in His ways throughout your days.

Then connect with your local church.  Find a church full of love and faith. Hear God’s word preached as you study His Word for yourself.  This will help you grow.

Amen. Well, as far as my wife and I it was important that I found a resolution. That resolution was as simple as a set of head phones so that she could sleep and The Holy Spirit could minister to me on those nights I needed God’s word to encourage me. If you have given God your heart today then feel free to connect with me. Email me. I’d love to hear from you.

God Bless you!

Aquila T Carmon

Fearless Faith

November 1, 2015

What is this vision paralyzing, heart gripping, plan staggering, speech stopping, goal blocking, dream killer doing here. You call her hesitation but I say it’s not a “her” but a male because of his competitive aggression to beat me to my destiny. I call him my enemy, I say he a worrisome pain in my “you know what!” I call him FEAR! How did he get here? Better yet why is he here?

Don’t you get it! Your path is a dedicated key to dreams that haven’t even been dreamt yet! Upon the pursuance of your journey are answers to questions that our world’s been asking. There’s something within you so phenomenal it will force light to explode in hearts of men when you decide to release it. You will impact the world so greatly that the prince of darkness will fail another great fight he so desperately expected to win. Why are you afraid? Is it because you haven’t an inkling of how much power is really inside you? My friend you must understand and not discount the incredible strength laying beyond the boundaries of your thrust through darkness. Being fearless does not make you a hero. You are a hero when you can be cradled by fear yet stand through the challenges and adversity of the precise entity you were in fear of. You must allow fear to do what it does best. Allow it to puncture your perception of limitation and frighten you in to moving through and forward from it as fast as possible. Fear has the ability to pump mass adrenaline through your veins. This is when your dream, your purpose and your life must all carry the same significance of survival. You must decide that this thing called fear that has caused so many to give up will not stop you from getting where you need to be.

You must learn to alter the fear you feel and convert it to energy. You must administer faith to that ugly dog and tell him that you are the authority and it was issued to you by Almighty God when He created you. Realize this, you cannot walk by faith while remaining fearful. One will defeat the other. Determine to possess fearless faith! Tell Fear this: By Faith I am boundless. By Faith I have already conquered all. By Faith no weapon formed against me shall prosper and with unfailing promise my Lord shall crush every fear that would exist in my life. By Faith I am FEARLESS “for God has not given me the spirit of fear but of power and love and of a sound mind.”(2 Timothy 1:7)

Let me encourage you today with a firm reminder that there is something great in you! God has invested it there and He protects His investment. Therefore you must rush through fear like it stands between you and your next breath because that treasure within you is necessary for the world.

Elder Aquila T. Carmon

Therefore and Moreover!!

September 16, 2014

Stress, sickness, weariness, restlessness and the need to make a quick dash for somewhere other than where you are can be signs screaming need for meaningful change. Question is, what needs to change? Sometimes it is the position other times its perspective.

Thinking on Christ’s commitment of carrying His cross brings realization that he was convoluted within a difficult situation. As a “Cornerstone”, “Savior” and “THE Redeemer” He couldn’t drop the weight burdening Him to a much greater and indescribable capacity than the weight of the wood He carried on His back. In fact, so extensively, that He even cried to God to let this cup pass from Him. Wow!

Yes this existing season is a difficult one as we certainly are facing issues that we never volunteered imagining because even the thoughts of them may bring pain to our hearts. But when harsh reality has charged into our homes without welcome and we don’t have the power to change it we need to understand God’s promise of “therefore & moreover” knowing in full confidence by no means is this where the story ends.

Acts 2:25-28 “I foresaw the Lord always before my face, for He is on my right hand, that I should not be moved.  Therefore did my heart rejoice and my tongue was glad; moreover also my flesh shall rest in hope: Because thou wilt not leave my soul in hell, neither wilt thou suffer thine Holy One to see corruption. Thou hast made known to me the ways of life; thou shalt make me full of joy with thy countenance”

Therefore proclaims of my heart rejoicing and my mouth praising which is inward and outward belief and demonstration of faith in God’s reliable and responsible faithfulness to us. Because He is for me, on me, walking with me, holding me up, keeping me, going before me, carrying me through I am persuaded that I shall not be moved!!! Therefore even though current circumstance would make me feel as my soul’s experiencing hell here on earth I will rejoice and speak to others of why I am glad! Not only is God keeping my soul but he also allows me to rest well in the midst of the troubles. Moreover, in addition to besides that, also my flesh rests in hope. While we rest in hope we eliminate weariness, stress, restlessness and a risk of breakdown.

So I pray for you the same prayer that relieved me of stress, pressure and headache today.

Dear God, please help my brothers and sisters to let go of “this”. I don’t know what their “this” is but you are fully informed. We can’t carry the pressure of something we can’t control. We give it to you now in Jesus name. Amen.

God Bless You!

Elder Aquila T. Carmon